We've all heard it before: you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else.
That's easy to say, but often hard to do when you're consumed with caring for a loved one who has a chronic illness like Alzheimer's.
The situation is often compounded by the fact that most caregivers tend to be selfless - concerned more with the needs and wishes of others than their own. That makes sense, because selfless people are much more likely to take on the responsibility of being a caregiver than someone who is more selfish.
It's a fact, though, that the stress of being a caregiver can literally put you in the hospital! You're also at higher risk for depression, chronic illness, and a decline in your quality of life.
On the flip side, according to a study in Psychosomatic Medicine: Journal of Biobehavioral Medicine, the official journal of the American Psychosomatic Society, activities like walking, reading, and listening to music can reduce blood pressure for elderly caregivers of spouses with Alzheimer's disease.
Some of the issues that caregivers themselves report experiencing, and that lead to higher health risks, include:
- Lack of sleep
- Poor eating habits
- Not exercising
- Not resting when you're sick
- Not making or keeping your own medical appointments
So, what are some tips for how caregivers can take better care of their own well-being?
- Learn to ask for help. This can be one of the hardest things in the world for a selfless person to do! Many people are happy to help you, but they don't know what to offer to do. If you can put together a list of things that would really help, though, it makes it easier for them to pick something that they feel they can do. Next time someone asks what they can do, or says "let me know if I can help!", you can hand them a copy of the list without feeling guilty.
- Take time to exercise. The absolute best type of exercise you can do is walk! It's free, needs no special equipment, can be done anywhere, and can be done in small chunks if you can't fit in longer walks. When I was caring for my mother with Alzheimer's, I even walked in the house; she had a small rancher, but I would walk from her bedroom to the kitchen, loop back through the living room and go back to the bedroom. Sometimes I would do that for as long as 30 minutes. It was good for me and great entertainment for her because I would act silly while walking :)
- Find new hobbies or rediscover old ones. Do more of anything that you enjoy! Reading, listening to music, knitting, exercising, doing puzzles - find the things that help you relax and enjoy life more and you'll feel better. According to the study referred to early in this article, caregivers who take part in leisure activities that they enjoy had had lower average blood pressure than those who didn't.
- Eat healthy meals and snacks. Food doesn't have to be boring to be good for you, but many caregivers tend to eat too much junk food because it's quick and easy. Some also eat junk food as a way of dealing with anxiety or depression.
- One of the best ways to ensure you have good meals on hand is to use a crockpot; the food will be ready to eat for supper whenever you are!
- There are also many websites that you can grab interesting new recipes from, and Eating Well has an entire section devoted to Quick & Easy Healthy Recipes.
- You can also add grocery shopping or bringing healthy meals to the list of things you need in the first item of this list - "learn to ask for help."
- Try to let go of the things you can't change and concentrate on those you can change. Even if you don't believe in prayer, you can benefit from adapting the Serenity Prayer into phrasing that works for you:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Remember, taking care of yourself isn't a selfish act! It will actually help both you and the loved one you're taking care of.
